I have only in the last year or two realized that I have sabotaged myself my entire life. Ever since I can remember, I have been looking for my purpose, the reason I was put on Earth. The truth is, I have probably let it pass me by on more than one occasion.
I am an ideas person. For the better part of my waking day, I am thinking ‘I wonder what would happen if I…’, or ‘It would be so much fun to…’, or ‘I bet I could…’. Most of these ideas are dismissed immediately as something I couldn’t do because I am not smart enough, pretty enough, financially savvy enough, or some other nonsense excuse. When something has interested me enough and actually knocked over the barricades I set for myself, I would try it a time or two before giving up the idea as something for which I do not have the talent. I have always given up quickly on my ideas and desires. I didn’t want to waste my time on something I don’t have the talent for when I could be finding my ‘thing’.
I always thought that people who excel at something do so strictly because of a natural talent or innate ability. I never realized these successes were due to hours upon hours, and years upon years of trying, failing, and not giving up. The very thing I was trying to avoid. My biggest fear has always been failure, never realizing that each failed attempt actually brings you closer to your goal. It’s only a failure if you don’t keep trying.
On the other hand, if you try something and are completely uninterested or disengaged, don’t torment yourself with it. Find your passion and don’t give up until you have made yourself proud. Insecurity is a waste of time. So what if you look foolish. Who are you trying to impress anyway? I got your back! Go out there and kick some ass!!